今天

在辦公室收到這個email~

我們嚴陣以待的......

美國的經濟危機真的來臨了!



*************************************************************************************************************************
DUE TO  BUDGET CUTS, THIS IS YOUR NEW CUBICLE

 
婆: .....這就是我的新辦公室?!  好吧~ 至少還蠻通風的......



婆: .....是Private office! 因為有門!




婆: .....不錯至少有雙螢幕~ 只是 螢幕畫面永遠不變.......



婆: .....顧客電話永遠打不進來! 讚!



婆: .....喲~  還附送私人小冰箱


 婆: .....電線走火燒的很快

 

你以為這封email到這裡就沒了

No No No 

不只

還有新的辦公室policy要follow!!!

EFFECTIVE AUGUST 1, 2008 

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially
and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and
therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are
able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays. 

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing  you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every
effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases
where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be
 glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent on the toilet.
There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet
paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture
will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the
 picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break: (Love this one)
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management
Pass this on to all who are employed!
                                                                                                       
                                                                                P.S. 此Email出處不詳 如有侵權 恕不負責 (哈哈 因為美國人看不懂中文~)

**************************************************************************************************************************

是滴!  說得太好了~

現在這個時機

有一份工作就該偷笑了

不管人家怎麼虐待你 羞辱你

我們都該謝謝他們

因為有他們的大恩大德

才讓我的house到現在還沒進入foreclosure.............

 

arrow
arrow
    全站熱搜

    cerritosapo 發表在 痞客邦 留言(3) 人氣()